BIKERS MAY BE ACCUSED OF MANY THINGS, some true and some not, but for a number of riders, there is no escaping the accusation of being addicted to motorbikes. Can that get out of control? Although it’s hard to imagine “riding too much” becoming problematic, how about a malady that can be as visible as a completely chromed motorcycle, including the seat and tires?
Or how about an abundance of so many extra gadgets that the handlebar area looks like a free-form mechanical sculpture resplendent with enough wires and thingamajigs to make it seem impossible for a mere mortal to find the throttle?
There’s a name for this: Motorcycle Farkles Disease.
This might be considered as a relatively benign malady. Certainly, for most riders, it’s not terminal (wive’s or hubbie’s rantings to the contrary).
Let’s be clear that the subject of this article is not merely that of buying and installing a few accessories, called farkles (also spelled farkels). That would be as erroneous as describing anyone who enjoys a beer now and then as an alcoholic. This article describes something well beyond that.
But first, let’s clarify some terminology.
Motorbike Farkles
Farkels are certainly not limited to this list, but they serve as common examples:
♦ Radar Detectors
♦ Music, Radios and Audio Systems
♦ Wireless Communication Systems
♦ Global Positioning System (GPS) Receivers
♦ Heated Grips
♦ And of course lots of SHINY and ILLUMINATED THINGS
The list is endless.
A Motorcycle Malady Gone Wild
It may be arguable as to “when” the evolution of personalizing one’s motorbike crosses some threshold and becomes a malady that should be treated. But should you find yourself buying things to personalize motorcycles that you don’t own anymore, a little mental alarm bell ought to be giving you a jingle.
Even if your mental jingler was out of whack when personalization turned to obsession, it’s hard to argue that madness was not close to hand when your investment in farkles surpassed that of your house.
And speaking of houses, some home owners convert their garages to recreational rooms to gain more living space. However, should you find yourself converting living quarters to additional garage space to store more motorcycle accessories, there is cause for concern.
The good news is that such a disease does not require consultations with top doctors in various part of the globe. The standard cure is therapy for both your bike and soul: You need to ride more!
Your Favorite Accessories?
Having said all that, there are accessories and gadgets that truly improve the riding experience, whether practical and/or aesthetic. What are your favorites? Please note them below.
I like storage gear. Saddlebags, tank bags, and different size bags for the luggage rack. I’ve got gear I don’t use anymore sitting in the garage. I’ve got storage gear I only use now and then. BUT, my bike always has some amount of storage capacity.
Hmmm… Let me see… I ride a 2008 Yamaha 1300 V-Star Tourer and it is beautifully adorned with a cup holder. My boyfriend and I have the Sena Dual Bike to Bike communicators but I would hardly call those Farkles
SPC
While I LOVE my bike, LOVE to ride and most defiantly have been bitten repeatedly by the Motorcycle bug I do NOT suffer from the Farkle Disease.
I am a Minimalist when it comes to riding.
I am Anti-GPS (when mounted on the bars) as I think it is a distraction and gets far too many riders in trouble. If you think you need a GPS then leave it in the Tank Bag and pull it out if you think you are lost. Me? I like being lost. It adds to the adventure.
I am Anti-music because I want the Word and the sound of the engine to be my song.
RIDE SAFE RIDE OFTEN.
I am one of you. My brother-in-law sent me this article making fun of me as he has a nice and UN-Farkled Speed Triple 1050. My Suzuki on the other hand, is a Farkle, and I am proud to admit it, and it definatley IS NOT A PROBLEM Don.
If I indeed rode my motorcycle any more than I already do, I would be clocking almost 25K annually. I do not own a car, as I ride this specific Bandit, 12 months a year. I’ll list my farkles and let you all, besides Mr. Don, decide.
I have: Whistler ‘Cruiseader’ Radar-Detector – Heated Seat and grips – Red LED Lighting (a lot of it) – 4 White Strobe-LED’s – A Speedo Tuner – a Headlight Modulator – Custom installed Garage Door Opener, It’s just a button on the upper fairing by the left side controls – A Viper Motorcycle Specific Alarm/Security System (Motorcycle theft increased 65% in our area last November) – Cardo Systems Q2 Bluetooth Communication system – A Digital Oil Temp Gauge – I have my Motorola Q9h Global Phone w/ Sirius, GPS, and a sattelite controlled speedometer for acuratley adjusting the above listed Speedo Tuner – Camcorder Mount (or Dumbass Driver Camera Detection System – In the event of my death on my bike, it will be on the 32gb micro SD card inside the color coordinated Samsung SC-MX20 HD High Speed Camera attached to the Left mirror)
Mr. Don – If I have indeed left something out, please feel free to expand upon my list of said farkles, as I am almost positive, your sister and I cannot remember everything the Bandit has.
For my fellow Farkle-Friends – If you would like to witness this living farkle, in all it’s farkeling glory, please feel free to farkle on over to the following link. Don’t forget, all above listed farkles, are available for purchase there as well.
http://www.daughertypowersports.com/page12.html
I am going to make a farkle web page one day.
~Beau
I do love my bike!! As its the first (of many bikes I have owned) Thats brand new–or was when I bought it!! Its a 2008 Yammer FJR. I would love to go nuts and shower her with gifts BUT common sence dictated restraint!! So the things I really needed have been added— Tank 1/2 bra– for support (LOL) to protect the paint, Frame sliders, throttle lock for obvious reasons. a larger wind screen and a tail trunk. all for what I think are good reasons!!! The Mink bike cover I admitt was a bit over the top But AS I said She is my first Brand New out of the wrapper— bike and SHE deserves all that I can give!! Think I have a case of farkelitis???
I haven’t farkeledup..yet. I’d like a clock and thermometer, throttle lock, and camera mount. I’m not sure, but I may have invented the full face shield helment snorkel! Cuts way down on helmet fog. Could be the next big thing.
My best option on my Ducati is the throttle lock. On long trips it is important to let me flex my right wrist now and then. All other features are nice to have,,,,, like the intercom etc. When running fast it is nice to talk to your bike mate to let them know what is going on. I agree, if you need more, get a car.
I’ve only added safety or comfort features to my Heritage Softail, but my daughter has a camera mount for the handlebars that I used on my Sporty once. You can take pix as you motor around, and it lets you swivel the camera for different angle shots. My comfort feature has been a new saddle & highway pegs for the engine bars. Safety–I had the dealer convert the blinkers to running/brake lights. Safety is my main concern.
i would love to buy toys for my vtx 1300 t but i have to limit what i want due to cost there are only a few things i really need a gear indicator ,tire gage indicator ,louder horn,g p s ,lugguge rack ,radio and speaker o my god i am one of you
Farkles R Us is what most Goldwing riders should be called..(I am one of those)
But thankfully most of our farkles are built right into the standard motorcycle so they are least integrated, and not “add-on”. However I do have a few extra’s I really like…GPS, mp3 layer, cup holder for large drinks, helmet hook pin, and camera mount are a few of the extras mounted to the handlebars.
The built in am fm stereo and cb are nice on the long trips.
I wish the cruise control was a bt more accurate..the surging up an down that 1 MPH is maddening when I am figuring out my eta and fuel stops every 200 miles….
Farkle away..Safety chrome is extra!
Got one Malcolmtent…it’s called a Dodge bullshitmobile. Glad you recognize dumb! There’s always one in the crowd.
BUY A CAR if you need all that dumb bullshit!
I call this syndrome, “J.C. Whitney ‘ itis”. This condition can lean to dead batteries, mysterious electrical shorts, and higher repair bills do to the fact that a mechanic needs to un-do most of these back yard accessory installations before he can figure out what is wrong with the bike when it comes in for repair.
I LOVE my handlebar clock! Push button for night illumination. I don’t have to worry about being late for something, has eliminated all rushing! And of course I’d feel naked without my handlebar fringe! But really those are my only two farkles. Your cure is correct! I’ve always said people who play/look/shine/accessorize their bikes too much don’t ride enough. I’ve ridden 12,000 mi this year. I’d much rather ride it than look at it!
Hi. My name is Daryl Martinez (Spanky) and I am a farkler. (Everyone: “Welcome Spanky!”) The mighty ‘08 KLR-650 is a bit anemic when it comes to amenities and does require a bit of farkling. Remember the movie “Needful Things?’ Those are my farkles. Nerf bars, new unheated grips, GPS, I got a Garmin Csx-60…although I am a much better map/compass reader, new mirrors, small map/tank bag and a medi
um MotoFizz tail bag. Hardly flashy farkling! I have seen some bikes that your first though is…where the heck are the handlebars. As long as it does not distract from our primary mission…SAFELY having fun…Farkle away…I say!